The Small Bow

When In Doubt, Always Take The Piss Test

A Scram anklet? A urine test? Anything to help a desperate father prove he's sober enough to be around his kids.

You Smell Like Methadone

For this round of Inverse Pitching, we asked our readers to submit memorable smells that reminded them of miserable times. "Whiffs of nostalgia," if you will. Seriously, when was the last time you thought about Stetson cologne? Enjoy these six entries.

Things We Lost Running Around Out There, Acting All Crazy

We collected as many quiet confessions from some of our readers about what they believe was lost due to their alcoholism, drug misuse, or overall idiocy and selfishness. We didn't ask for full sentences, just a couple words. Here's what came up for them.