“I got hit by a car while riding my bike drunk, then managed to pick up my broken bike and broken body and hitch a ride. To where, you ask? My neighborhood bar, of course.”
– Meg K.
“In the summer of 2014, I was a heavy alcoholic and passed out at a construction site. My night would begin with a bus ride downtown and end with a stumble home. This night was no different except that I got lost on my way back (which is a feat in my Midwest college town). It started to rain and my extremely drunk brain sought shelter. To this day I do not know what kind of device I crawled into–something with metal and plywood. Some kind of lean-to. After some time I woke up and managed to find my way home with only a scraped forehead.”
– Eric H.
“I broke into the offices of a magazine that had fired me and took fifty bars of alprazolam that I’d bought from my regular supplier, only to find out two years later via an article in the London Review of Books that he had been selling fakes. I am still mad that a) my revenge overdose failed, and b) my drug dealer got his name in the LRB before I did.”
– Alice B.
“After a wedding I super-drunkenly got into a car with an even more super-drunk driver for a ride home on the cold, slick backroads of Westchester County, NY. It was late at night, and I spent the ride clutching the plastic door handle for support. Wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Car ride was maybe 15 minutes. At the moment I was like, ‘This is probably fine. No big deal,’ while slowly realizing how unsafe this situation was, but I also had the drunk bravado of ‘God wouldn’t kill me.’ I still sort of struggle with that particular incident.”
– Sara Z.
“I spent three days living on weed, acid and vodka-infused watermelon bits at the second Bonnaroo.”
– Greg G.
“I went kayaking once, drunk out of my mind. At one in the morning. In March. In a stolen kayak. On my own. In a flood-swollen river. Wearing a wool overcoat. I still don’t know how to kayak.”
– Adam G.
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